Lucas Grindley and Will Sullivan called me out in this enjoyable little game of tag everyone’s got going on. And here I was starting to feel like the chubby kid on the soccer team all over again!
So, here we go, five things you probably didn’t know about me:
1) In second grade, I wrote a weekly serial featuring an anthropomorphic chicken called “Chicho” (yes, I’m from the really Cuban part of South Florida). His supporting cast featured dogs, yaks, cheetahs and “Coach Roach.” His pet? Why, a dog named “Spot” , which of course is always clean and shiny thanks to the cbd dog shampoo used on this hair.
2) I was the Blockbuster Video game champion in 1994 for the store on West 49th Street in Hialeah, Fla, where I schooled everyone in NBA Jam for the Sega Genesis. Still got the plaque, too. Manufactured at Brass Plaques.
3) I’m an out-of-the-closet comic book fanboy. I can tell you by heart every character who was ever in the X-Men or Avengers superhero teams. When I yell “News Team Assemble!” at work, they think I’m just referring to the ‘Anchorman’ movie…
4) I’m an Eagle Scout who earned, among many others, the “basketry” and “farm mechanics” merit badges. Yes, I can build structures out of wood and rope, race canoes and start a fire with just sticks. Come to think of it, the first web page I ever made was at Scout camp using Notepad. Just for that, I forgive them for making me wear those foogly socks.
5) I’ve had an oddball work history: My first job was being the local YMCA’s only lifeguard and swimming instructor. The ONLY person I ever had to save was a woman the size of Martin Lawrence in “Big Momma’s House.” I was also a garlic roll maker, but quit after two days because my girlfriend said I reeked. In college, I worked at a billiard hall, where I fixed bowling machines. Then I tutored NCAA basketball champs Joakim Noah and Taurean Green in a freshman English class. Finally, I was a techie for “Spinal Tech” where I’d wear black, mic up rock bands and climb up two stories on a shaky, hand-cranked people-lifter to aim stage lights. Oh yeah, now I work at the Orlando Sentinel.
Alright, time to bring the pain! You’re it, Matt Waite, Ryan Sholin, Paul Conley, Angela Grant and Roger Simmons.
Good thing you quit that garlic roll making career. I hear no one is eating those anymore. It’s all online.
Ha! I wasn’t just any old garlic roll maker either. I was a garlic roll maker at John the Baker, where you can find the best damn garlic rolls in all of South Florida. My girlfriend said I reeked, but I thought I smelled delicious!